1 na 1

čas. pa naj bo, če so nam ga odmerili. pa naj bo, če si je Duša izbrala šape s črnimi kremplji in košat Rep. če bi dovolila, bi ji položila glavo na trebuh, ko leži na travi, in lovila njen ritem dihanja. če bi dovolila, bi jo objela pod vratom, z drugo roko pod repom, dvignila in odnesla preko struge deroče vode. če bi dovolila… tako pa kot pogumen otrok, ki prvič pelje kolo brez pomožnih koles, vztraja, da lahko sama pripelje do zadnjega drevesa v ulici. čeprav živec kdaj uščipne, sama skoči v avto. čeprav bi se lahko pocrkljala, se umakne kot najstnik, kadar ga mama poljubi na čelo v družbi njegovih prijateljev. tukaj in zdaj me Rep vedno znova opominja na čare brezpogojne Ljubezni. dlje kot 11 let njenega življenja sem poslušala pripombe o smotrnosti najinih potepov – morda imaš bolj pomembno delo, morda je kaj drugega, bolj smiselnega za opravit… v moji glavi pa drugega smisla kot 1 na 1 med šumečimi listi in pisanimi krošnjami ni bilo najti. kot za vsako drugo izkušnjo v življenju, velja tudi za Rep – ne zaveš se, kaj lahko zamujaš, dokler ne izkusiš.

kakor smo si različni ljudje, vsaj tako so si med seboj različni Kralji Živali. najina Pot ima isto smer odkar je kot zadnji mladič v leglu in kot Princeza v mojih očeh skrivala rep med noge. danes dvigne glavo na drugimi ob prvem stiku in odločno pomaha z repom. navdihuje me, kako zelo živa je. kako zelo se ji iskrijo oči, ko pridržim ovratnico pred smrčkom. kako zelo močno zasadi kremplje v mojo dlan, ko mi poda šapo. kako zelo odločno tišči glavo v posodo, dokler ne izgine sled za zadnjo kapljo mleka. kako zelo hiti goltati nekaj smrdljivega, ko jo kličem sredi travnika. kako zelo moja je … ko jaz potisnem nos v njeno dlako in globoko vdihnem.

tukaj in zdaj. 

Quote-fishin #30

If there are past and future Lives, my Soul must be very young and unexperienced. No matter the bottom it hits, it always finds the strength to keep on traveling.  

pssst!

kot že mnogokrat poprej, se tudi sedaj začetni verz Desiderate najbolj usede nekam...

Spokojen hodi skozi trušč in naglico sveta, in se spominjaj miru, ki ga najdeš le v tišini. 

in je zares neopisljivo čudovit občutek, ko ničesar ne slišiš. Ronny je izstopila iz avta in potiho zaklicala "Wait, wait. Just listen to this....Nothing." kako nekdo, ki obišče to milino naše male deželice veliko bolj ceni drobne reči, ki so pravzaprav zelo velike. opazovati zvezde na nebu, saj ozračja ne kali svetloba javne razsvetljave. bujenje s petjem ptic, saj hišo obdajajo veje dreves, kjer imajo mali perutničarji dovolj prostora za jutranje vragolije. zajtrk na vrtu z razgledom na hribe, saj se za vsakim vogalom razteza kak "julijc" ali "kamniško-savinjc". po slabi uri vožnje si naročimo kavo na obali in se lahko odločimo še za čofotanje v hladnem jezeru, saj je Raj le en raztezaj stran.
tukaj, zdaj, zavedno. ne za vedno, zavedno. morda zavestno. kakorkoli...

ko se razvname debata z Goljatom, nama jezika zaveže tišina, ki naju je objela. hihitava se, ker je to eden tistih večerov, ko sosedje ne jedo mesa. in se nadejava, da se večeri kmalu ohladijo in bo vztrajnih tatov tišine vedno manj.

In če to veš ali ne, vse v vesolju poteka natanko tako, kot je prav. 

ko zapišem Life is a funny thing,  je to gotovo ponovitev št. N. nisem ne prva ne zadnja, ki to natipka, niti niso moje besede. raziskave kažejo, da naj bi .... šalo na stran - najverjetneje sem le gostitelj Popotnika, ki hrepeni po izkustvu, in se bo ob zadnjem vdihu oziral po naselitvi v novo obliko Življenja. na trenutke postaja že kar smešno, da naključja ne obstajajo. kot da si se uzrl v Nebo, zakričal "Zakaj?!?", spustil pogled in po cesti se pripelje odgovor na tvoje vprašanje. čeprav Goljat trdi, da je lahko odgovor na tovrstno vprašanje večplasten in vseobsegajoč, se zdi, da je Vesolje nagnjeno k kratkim in jedrnatim. And so it is, just like you said it would be (Damien Rice) je odzvanjala v glavi in se vedno glasneje smejala.

kadar si položiš prst na ustnice in prisluhneš, lahko slišiš marsikaj. tudi krike lastnih misli.

Bodi pozoren. Bodi srečen. 

Quote-fishin #29

Ne umri prazen. 

Umri star. 

To je cilj Življenja. 

Razočaraj svoj grob. 

M. Munroe 

 

 

 

( gypsy )

when your Heart feels fullfilled, but yet it does not rest on a shelf or in someones hands, cause it is in our Human nature to keep lookin (using the exact words from a good friend of mine) for more and better ... one could consider himself as a nomadic or free-spirited person.

Depending upon the circumstances, a gypsy may retain his nomadic habit of life even though he is not travelling for the time being.

well explained by uncle google. little girls with messy hair and torn dresses that were never clean were called for gypsies-children. grandmas would frighten them with tales about gypsies stealing dirty little girls, to take them along on a big journey and never return them back to their parents. 
I guess good parents show their kids the value of their ancestors, the roots of their family, so they never forget where they came from. and the birds can always return to their nests - repair a bit the old one and make a comfortable place for the next generation. withby the circle of Life keeps runin. and indeed, there is no need for eternity. at least not on this planet, in this galaxy (if there is indeed something worth prooving about a Life out there...)
to live and breathe always somewhere else is an inspiration to some, agony to others. two of us are not alike, nor are the beautiful red apples in the store. the one with a funny shape will taste as good as the perfect symetric apple. with a sence of biology we can say it is biodiversity and how one organism can adjust to the enviroment. 
a few centuries ago you had to be some kind of a nomad to ask yourself about the endless horizon at the end of your view point. or you trusted words that have been told to you - as far as we can see, there is the end of the world.

and there was more of land to settle on. maybe cats have similar ideas - Gin crossed my way to work and today he gently but loudly purrs close to my legs. if he's a real gypsy, our ways will no longer cross. he would go make other lives orange. 

do we keep on lookin till the very last breath? how many of us, so to say, the most intelligent creatures on Earth, get to listen closely to our instinct, desires, dreams... gypsies focus on their basic needs. water, food, takin care of eachother, and some good chocolate :) 

i guess i often come across with a bad hair-day, barefoot feet and dirty clothes. and one shouldn't admit how traveling adds some more bright lights on your painting of Life!

pristno

ko ti ljuba oseba reče, da bodi raje tiho in se ne vmešavaj, te zaskeli. baje zaskeli ego. baje.
gotovo pa si želiš poguma sam storiti isto, ko se ti takšna misel spusti nekje s čela proti jeziku.
baje se s previdnostjo lažje preživi v svetu odraslih. ne spodobi se vedno povedati, kaj si zares misliš in o čem zares premišljuješ. drži, da ne živimo vsi v urbanem okolju in se tudi družbeni kriteriji glede na lokacijo malo prilagodijo. pa vendar... baje se ne spodobi na glas smejati niti na ulici plesati. verjetno se ne spodobi niti kot otrok navdušeno vzklikati in se med sestankom hihitati.

je čas, in je čas. 

pomisli, koliko ljudi te obdaja, ki ti namenijo iskrene misli? koliko staršev dovoli otroku postati tisto, o čemer sanjajo? ali pa, koliko junakov in herojev je na njihovi poti uspeha spremljala podpora bližnjih? junaki so čudaki in heroji so dvoji - pokopani ali zglancani.

znaš pohvaliti? znaš dati drugemu priznanje premoči? razmišljam, kdo nas tega nauči. zares ni nobene znanstvene osnove za temi besedami, ampak okolje vpliva na osebnost. mladika, ki je sicer korenine že globoko potisnila v hladno zemljo, se bo ob slabših vremenskih pogojih okrepila v deblu in ob naslednji vremenski ujmi brez zadržkov sprejela v zavetje še mladega lisjaka ali pa dva srnjaka. otrok, kateremu ne polagamo besed v usta, se bo sam potrudil izgovoriti misli? verjamem, da.

manjkajo....manjkajo ljudje, ki brez dlake na jeziku z odločnim pogledom globoko v oči priznajo, da razmišljajo drugače kakor ti. manjkajo tisti, ki drugega potrepljajo po rami in pohvalijo. manjkajo tisti, ki opazijo. in manjkamo mi, ki zbiramo pogum postati boljši.

alone - ness

should anyone brag about thoughts bein build up in a foreign language, so be it. i couldn`t agree less with a thought that i am doing something wrong. so be it.
  a big part of my teen age was spent in the woods. actually, this came across my mind just recently. the awareness. i got home from school, primary or high, tried hard to finish my homework and study soon enough to be able to go out with my dog soon. if not sooner, at least before time of her supper, so she always ate on time. and the homework could wait, and i loved studyin in the night hours, when everyone else in the house went to bed. we met so many trees, so many branches, discovered so many holes in the ground. even better - on hot summer days i looked for those in the tree-trunks - if we were lucky they were filled up with rain water, she loves to drink from it. it could all sound like an ode to my dog, which she would without a doubt deserve, but is not. she is by far my favourite, though. just today my brother mentioned, in a rethorical question that remained unanswered- what will it be, when she is gone.
i made almost all this afternoon walks alone. alone, with my dog. even more i prefered those late at night, when i finished studyin, just before i went to bed, to let the cold breeze blow between my ears and cool off the strugglin mind. whenever i left abroad, i missed it like crazy, the alone walks. so i wandered the unknown streets and woods sometimes. went for a run. but felt weird, strange, unknown. lookin for a replacement.
if possible, i left my phone on my table. it felt free. and i miss it. i cant discuss the right from wrong about spending all this time alone, but for me it was not just right. for me it is time of free mind. often when i get back, or when i come closer to home, it hits my head that i havent been thinkin about one single thing. it just cleared out my mind. beautiful. with time i got more and more engaged with obligations and i put other priorities. with time spent abroad i grew a state in my mind that i dont have to do everything every day. that there are things that could be done by other people with the same dedication, same love and same care. but the alone walks are to be done by me. me and my dog.
 
relationships are still the most imporant thing in my life. if so, why am i not engaged in a serious one? why am i not madly truly deeply inlove with mister right? why am i not planing a morgage for our house we will soon build? why are we not makin baby plans? "you know, time flies..." just heard a quote in a movie, goes like "Life is a series of moments. The aim is to gather the most beautiful ones."
no matter the status, i do believe happiness comes from ones inside. it originates from ourselves. can one alone be happy? yes. no serious doubt about it. and no serious doubt about the fact, that happiness doubles when it is shared. i can not help but corellate with the animal kingdom - the majority of species lives in herds, groups or flocks. we build communities - starting from a pair of two lovin human beings reachin out to a greater bigger society. so, one is actually never alone. unless one insists on it. some people are just better of alone, by their own choices.

i choose to be happy. i choose love. i choose a smile. i choose to share it with you. i choose.
   the first time i was forced to think about me alone, it was the most heartbraking thing i felt. i was scared of the unknown. it was the most selfish thing of me to do, to think about alone. i still believe, though, there is never a complete alone. never ever for no one. and beliefs are quite a tricky thing!

royal loyalty

ko med razporejenimi artikli iščem izvirno darilo, se mi pogled ustavi na prepletenih nitih, vpetih v krog. lovilec sanj t.i. "dream-catcher". s prsti tipam mehkobo perja, ki se nežno premika s tokom zraka. vprašam se, kaj sem sanjala danes? redko se mi zgodi, da bi se sanj zavedala. še redkeje pa, da bi me sanje prebudile. morda se zato večkrat počutim ujeta v že doživetem trenutku; vsaj zdi se tako. kot da bi me nekdo dregnil pod rebri, me prešine - "hej, pa to sem že videl, to sem že doživel!" (VK). če imam čas, si razbijam glavo s kaj in kako je to možno, največkrat se le nasmehnem in hitim naprej. zadovoljna, da se moje skromno mnenje o naključjih potrjuje v vsakdanjem življenju. 
Tabornik me je ujel za besedo, ko sva debatirala ravno o tem - če ni naključij, ima nekdo/nekaj načrt? ne vem, ampak razmišljam. svojeglavo in trmasto iščem odgovore na že neštetokrat zastavljena vprašanja... 

Dare to dream.

kadar me potepuška slutnja pelje po katerem od večjih mest, si vzamem čas za ljudi. jih opazujem s klopce ali pa vsaj s kotičkom očesa spremljam njihov korak. toliko obrazov in za vsakim od teh gotovo več kot le ena zgodba! glede na videno si pripovedujem zgodbo kar sama, in se vprašam, kje je moja. kje so moje sanje? zakaj se jih ne spominjam vsako jutro? 
fizikalni vztrajnostni moment se je verjetno pretvoril v miselnega, da sem danes, kjer sem. popisana z živo paleto barv in odtenkov ljudi, ki me v življenju dopolnjujejo. in ne, barv ni nikoli preveč - želim si še kakšne! ;) 

Dance while you`re young. 

če dvignem pogled izza platnic svoje poti, oči ujamejo kričeča opozorila družbe - spoznajte sebe, bodite zvesti samemu sebi, vedno pomisli sprva nase ... 
in iščem naprej ...